Sometimes inspiration doesn't come easily. Setting out in the direction of doing something new will usually lead down a murky, difficult path that will often frustrate travelers long before the next beautiful vista is found. This can be a viable excuse to never stray from the beaten path, but it's not always such an easy choice to just stay on the straight and narrow.
I, and many of my compatriots, have a desire to do something new pretty often. Whether owing to some struggle to be unique or due to the knowledge that you might find the answers to yourself in unknown places or even because of the thrill and rush that is felt when creating a new micro-niche in some lesser known genre that makes 14 people in the world smile broader (or creating a new, more 'relevant' genre altogether that brightens the steps of every cultural soldier out there (Springsteen Lives!)) we feel a need to do something that is new. This need manifests itself in a visceral way that is hard to ignore when hearing music, seeing sculpture, reading an essay, walking a dog, or whatever random impetus might spur us on into fanciful flights of far-fetched
Unfortunately just feeling like something new must be done doesn't actually get anything done. It's the next step that seems to require the most motivation. The actual getting down to it and doing it needs more than just a visceral feeling. It often needs some kind of concrete goal, whether self-imposed or externally placed. I think this is why grad school is popular... but i don't know.
I have been playing jazz and/or improvised music for a long time. Whenever I have that visceral manifestation of need to do the new I usually have some kind of outlet coming up soon. And when I get into a room with other musicians (of any ilk) and sit at a drumset I know that I have an immediate chance to try something new at every turn. I also have an immediate feedback mechanism in every other musician as well as bystander who happens to be listening. I get a reaction to the things I do. If 'it' doesn't work it could be because it wasn't the right moment for 'it', or maybe I didn't have the ability to pull 'it' off, or maybe some people just didn't get 'it'. But in any case I have that common outlet of trying something new to look forward to most weeks.
Unfortunately, though, this may have made me lazy. I may (and accepting the possibility means it's probably true) have gotten to the point where I can only try something new (and succeed) in those situations where I am improvising. I don't know if this is necessarily a terrible thing, but I'm gonna try and challenge myself.
I have a solo set coming up in a month that has been occupying my conscious thought for a while now. When I agreed to do it I had no idea what I would do, but knew that I wanted to do something new. Obviously it would have to be new, since I don't have a big bag of solo percussion repertoire up and ready to go. Even playing drumset is not something I often do solo, and I don't even know if I want to play drumset on that show.
I've been amazed at how much my thoughts have been occupied by "what am I going to do?" lately. But thankfully, the thoughts have not been negative, hopeless, lazy thoughts. In fact, I have been seeing everything in a new light of possibility. It's more often "I could do that" or "that would be cool" and that makes me feel better. Not because I think I'm an amazing artist, but because I know that I have ideas that I think are worth presenting. Self-doubt hasn't interfered much except to remind me every now and then- when a particularly outlandish idea comes while walking in the park- that I can't do everything and that whatever I do do needs to be done well (I think so, anyway). Realistic goals are more attainable, even in the realm of experimental music.
So, by having a show I am inspired. And not just to get to work on something new, but also to reevaluate my art and by extension myself as an artist. Maybe I go too far with the humanist individualism, but the intensity of my introspection warants it. I hope to have more opportunities like this, but rather than just 'hope' and 'feel' for it I'll continue to create necessities for my inventions.
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jeez, that's long and unedited...
ReplyDeletethat's funny cuz i was wondering what the comment was gonna be but then it turned out to just be you again. jeez, give it a rest!!
ReplyDeleteno but seriously - it sounds like you are keeping it real w/r/t the constant renewal that's necessary if you want to keep exploring. i can think of a lot of old-guard musician-explorers who rocked it in their early careers by uncovering some really new fabulous ideas that worked and were fresh and excited people and then kept refining that idea because, well, it worked, and then before you know it they became parodies of themselves. and whether or not you like their sound (S.R. i'm talking to you), the part of their music that beckons you into new territory - that freshness - is gone, or at least watered down.
then on the other hand you got folks like lukas foss (RIP) who, yeah, kept on with the exploring all the time, but i guess it's arguable that over his life he went in so many different directions that he never really established a recognizable style. also, since he was always exploring but maybe never in such an extreme sense that the primary characteristic of one of his pieces was 'newness.' it's neither here nor there really, but i dig foss because he didn't give a shit about that career stuff, he was just trying to explore for himself.
anyway, i think it's dope that you have become aware that you are falling into a pattern wherein you associate 'newness' with 'improvisation' and are working actively to subvert that. that's pretty much what makes good music, i think, in some way or another actively subverting what your natural inclination is.